Imagine social media as a solar system made up of planets, asteroids and comets. Now imagine one of these planets goes retrograde — things start to go a bit haywire, life generally isn’t functioning as it should. It all gets ugly, fast.
Figuratively speaking, this was the state of affairs with the digital landscape this week. We’re talking A LOT of drama, a lot of conflicting emotions and a lot of #FAILS. Brace yourselves.
Gone Down the Pan
Tuesday morning saw #BathroomAMovie trending on Twitter. You read that correctly.
In a vain attempt to stir up some comic relief in light of the #GBBO poaching saga, Channel 4 thought it would be funny to tweet this:
Welcome to Instagram, Yeezy
Aspiring U.S. president, self-proclaimed prophet and creative genius, Kanye West has finally joined the Instagram community, posting his very first, very cryptic photo:
Some are calling it art, others are calling it nonsense. We’re calling it a bit of both.
Whatever it is, Yeezy took to his Twitter page back in March to make one thing clear:
At the time, this made absolutely no sense at all (like a lot of things Kanye West says), seeing as he didn’t even have an Instagram account. But Kanye’s a prophet, right? And prophets have the gift of prophecy.
That being said, if you don’t want to miss out on more of Kanye’s extravagant, often deluded musings, best hit that ‘Follow’ button.
Romance is Dead
You may have heard the news. Brangelina have split.
If a ridiculously good looking couple with symmetrical faces and an inconceivable amount of money can’t find a way to make it work, there’s no hope for the rest of us.
And, like we’ve seen before, no First World problem is complete without a heartfelt commentary from social media:
Following the news that has shocked celebrity watchers worldwide, we can confirm we have separated Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's figures. pic.twitter.com/2juLFaZJED
— Madame Tussauds (@MadameTussauds) September 21, 2016
Something tells us a Hollywood relationship is well and truly over when a wax museum decides to separate you….
Meanwhile, optimists Norwegian Air have managed to retain a positive attitude throughout the ordeal:
*Books ludicrously cheap flights to LA* Brad, we’ll be a shoulder to cry on. And more.
This is not a drill — Mary Berry has left the building. Or rather, the tent.
As if the imminent departure of Mel and Sue on The Great British Bake Off wasn’t bad enough, Mary Berry has also decided to throw in the apron, stating she was staying with the BBC out of “loyalty”.
Social media has spoken:
BREAKING NEWS: The Tent has quit #GBBO. "I've been out standing in my field for 7 happy years," says Tent, "but my loyalty is with the BBC"
— Hugh Smithson-Wright (@HRWright) September 22, 2016
#GBBO without Mary Berry is like a Victoria Sponge without the jam, a pavlova without the meringue, a chocolate chip cookie without the chocolate chips and, as one twitter user so accurately described:
#GBBO without Mary Berry is like baking without an oven.
— Nick Harvey (@mrnickharvey) September 22, 2016
As for finding a good enough replacement, Channel 4 is in for a quest more complicated, tedious and painfully unrealistic than the recipe for Croquembouche. We wish them all the best.
What Happiness Looks Like
When all else #FAILS, there’s always a ridiculously cute dog having the time of its life on a slide:
Gypsy and her wagging tail prove one thing: oblivion is bliss.